Sunday, February 22, 2009
alone
this summer i had a goal to do things alone. things such as eating alone, having coffee alone, and going to a movie alone. these things were really intimidating. mostly because i thought everyone would be looking at me wondering why i was alone. where are all her friends? i guess i was pretty insecure. one summer day i headed out into the town i live in walking to a busy section to have a glass of passion iced tea lemonade by myself. i did it. it wasn't so bad. some people stared, but i think it's just because i'm extremely good looking, just kidding, but seriously. after my lemonade i headed over and got a salad from panera and sat outside, by myself. again, it really wasn't so bad. nobody was staring, there were even other people by themselves. i thought why not do it all in one day. after my salad i headed over to the movie theater and bought one ticket to see sisterhood of the traveling pants 2. i bought a popcorn and a small diet coke, for one, and went into the theater. i sat in the very top row in a seat very far away. i really liked going to the movie by myself. since then i've been more comfortable doing things by myself. sometimes at work during my break i'll head over to the coffee shop and sit and read. one day i even ate at chipotle by myself. my favorite thing is the movie though. it's like going on a date with myself. it's really good alone time. good thinking time. i went to see another movie by myself a few weeks ago. it was he's just not that into you. talk about a big dose of honesty, whoa baby. after i left the movie i had a little conversation with myself and then dropped myself off at home. this evening i felt the urge to take myself on another date. i saw confessions of a shopaholic. i got myself a little bag of peanut m & m's and a diet coke and sat in the middle row in the middle seat. i loved it. the movie was good. it made very thankful that i don't need to shop and fill a void in my life with things. i do enjoy shopping, but not to fill voids. i like taking myself on dates. i would encourage all of you to take yourself on a date. you just might find out that you're a keeper, that you are really great. i like being alone. please don't think that when i say that i mean lonely. i am far from lonely. i have great friends and a wonderful family. there is no loneliness here. i've just found that i'm getting to a point of contentment. a place of comfort with being by myself, figuring out how great i am, that i just might be a keeper.
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